Diamonds in the rough

An Economic Times article, Written by Nandini Raghavendra, ET Bureau.
Re-published with permission.

They say diamonds are a girl’s best friend. That’s certainly true for R Kanchanasumathi. Working at Dimexon’s Coimbatore-based diamond cutting and polishing company literally gave her a life. In 1993, when Kanchana first joined the organisation, she had little to call her own. A fatherless youngster for whom the job at Dimexon, initially as a data operator and today in executive production, brought hope and the chance of finding a groom.

Today, Kanchana has not only acquired an MBA from Periyar University, but she is also part of the management at the factory and handles the pipeline for the special Forevermark diamonds. “There is a difference in handling 20 people and handling 200, and I thought I needed to upgrade my skills in keeping with my new responsibilities. I am a better leader today,” says the 39-year-old of her HR specialisation she opted for during her MBA.

Kanchana and her 3,500 colleagues at Dimexon handle diamonds worth crores of rupees — including the crown jewels of the Forevermark line, work on the special Dimexon 81-facet Decagon, with its perfect heart-and-arrows formation — without getting carried away by the glamour of it all. Nor are they carried away by the fact that many of these diamonds find their way into luxury brands Gucci or Cartier’s jewellery and high-end watches.

Almost everyone we come across asks us about the ‘wow’ factor since we are dealing with diamonds. But after so many years, it is difficult for us to think like that,” says Revathy, executive producer at Dimexon, who holds the distinction of being the first person to handle the big rocks — 1-5 carat diamonds. She was the first to cut and polish diamonds of this size at the Coimbatore factory more than a decade ago. That’s because the women have been touched differently by the stone; in Dimexon’s Coimbatore factory, diamonds have played a big role in the economic empowerment of almost all the women staff.

When Dimexon began this factory, it had only a handful of women, Vimla being one of the those early starters. Today, they form the majority of the workforce (there are only 250 men on the rolls). Many of them are strong second pillars to their household economy; some are even the sole bread earners. In the days when the textile mills of Coimbatore went through a downturn, Dimexon played a life-saver.

As the textile town’s families gained confidence about women’s safety at the diamond factory, the women workforce increased. Today, there are women who have been there for close to two decades; who have married while work-ing at Dimexon, had children, taken loans to buy houses, bicycles, cars and even educate their children and themselves. “The biggest empower-ment is that almost three-fourths of us own our own houses and many have their own four-wheelers,” says Revathy. A fact they all reiterate.

It all started with a desire to differentiate from the competition and provide employment to locals. When a young Pankaj Mehta, chairman of the near-Rs 2,000-crore Dimexon Group, envisaged a factory with a large woman workforce three decades ago, it was because he found “women have a different eye for detail, are precise and very dedicated.” He adds: “I saw that they stood out considerably, and always on merit. Even when benchmarked against the globally-renowned Belgian workers, they stood out and their output was better too.

Clearly, gender was never an issue here — a fact endorsed by Mehta’s 36-year-old son Rajiv, the current CEO of Dimexon, who says having more women leads to zero pilferage, near-zero talent migration and considerable knowledge transfer. For Mehta junior, who looks after the factory, his father’s vision of both setting up a unit far away from competition and employing a large number of women, were moves much ahead of their time.

In the late 1970s, Coimbatore’s textile mills employed some women, but their ratio to male workers was negligible, and they were mostly engaged in peripheral activities. Conservative families, typically, preferred not to send their girls to work in the male-dominated factories and industries. Pankaj Mehta’s decision to set up a unit in Coimbatore was indeed a big one, since the industry was centred around Surat and Mumbai. But Mehta senior, during his apprenticeship with the company, realised that polishing diamonds was not heavy or hard labour. What it did require was careful and deft handling of stones, which could easily be mastered by women. “It was then that the idea of employing women on a large scale struck me,” he says.

Recruiting local talent at our south India manufacturing units was a conscious decision, and the initial efforts to hire women proved successful. We were happy to see them perform consistently, with high standards and output, even when compared to the skilled diamond workers of Belgium.

Vimla, Viji, Revathy and Kanchana are just a few of the women who have ascended to leadership responsibilities. With their focus, integrity, adaptability and sustained passion to excel, they are a force to reckon with, on the factory floor. Pankaj Mehta recalls an incident from the late 1990s when a diamantaire from a well-known international diamond trading company was visiting the factory, and expressed concern about a particular process.

He was speaking in English and, to my astonishment, the local woman worker who was performing the job, stood up and politely explained the procedure. She confidently and logically put forth the reasons as to why she thought the procedure being followed was the correct one. Not expecting such high standards of clarity from our employees, he was clearly impressed,” says an amused Mehta.

No wonder, then, that both the Mehtas and their global HR head Shyam Khirsagar, believe the real diamonds in their factory are the workers — even the men. Not surprisingly, the Mehtas are lavish in their praise for their employees. As Rajiv puts it: “Every one of our workers is competent enough to be able to handle any part of the pyramid, if necessary.” Especially, of course, the superbly-able women of Dimexon.

The original article can be found online at http://bit.ly/dcfC6Q

Don’t just mind the gap, do something about it!

Written by Salima Syerah Virani. Syerah is the president of NetIP Toronto and an entrepreneur, mentor and coach. Re-published with permission from http://zentrepreneur.ca/blog/

Contrary to popular belief, entrepreneurs are not born but they are made. My coaching practice is proof that entrepreneurship is something that can be learned. I work with many clients that are eager to take a leap into the entrepreneurial world.  “If only I had an idea or knew what exactly what I wanted to create as my enterprise“, is the lament I hear all the time.

One of my training exercises is to help aspiring entrepreneurs develop a new mindset!  I help them, train them, to change the way they look at things.

One characteristic that is consistent among entrepreneurs is their ability to always remain alert to opportunities. What this means is that you`re always looking for an idea that can be converted into a thriving enterprise.    How do you do that ?

Well, here are three easy steps to hone your entrepreneurial skills.  Practice these steps (as I do with my clients) and you will soon see a shift in your paradigm and before you know it you will start thinking like an entrepreneur!

1.  Find a GAP!  I don`t mean the clothing store, of course.  In your everyday life experiences, each time you suffer an inconvenience or find something missing – you have identified a gap!

2. Imagine a solution: What would be a good way to address the gap you have just discovered?

3.  Develop a Product or Service: Can the solution you imagine be developed into a product or a service that you would be prepared to pay for?  If your answer is yes, then you have very likely stumbled upon an idea that may potentially be a viable enterprise (subject to a whole new set of tests and assumptions and your passion to execute it, of course).

The point is that, yes, it really is that simple to come up with ideas.  That’s how all entrepreneurs get started.  Generating ideas is almost second nature to an entrepreneur.

Most entreprenurs will tell you that their product or service is ultimately the result of an idea that was generated to fill a gap!

So the next time you get frustrated with something – tell yourself -It`s a GAP!

And Don’t just mind the Gap – Do something about it!

NetIP announces the launch of Dollars for Doers Program

Trying to balance work, life, and NetIP volunteering?  Get rewarded through the Dollars for Doers Program…

Are you constantly logged into gmail at work to answer NetIP related emails?  Do you check your IPhone/Blackberry Facebook app during work meetings to see how many people are RSVP-ed for that evening’s NetIP event?  Is HarrisConnect bookmarked as a favorite on your work desktop?  Are you constantly marketing NetIP events to your co-workers?  …Sound familiar?  Chances are yes if you are a young working professional who volunteers or serves on the board for the Network of Indian Professionals.

This quarter, NetIP is participating in the Dollars for Doers Program, an initiative that rewards YOUR local chapter for your NetIP and work efforts.  Specifically, if you volunteer for NetIP and work for a large company, then you may be eligible to receive funds from your employer to benefit NetIP-NA, your local chapter, or a NetIP philanthropic cause!

What is the Dollars for Doers Program?

The Dollars for Doers is a national program utilized to recognize volunteers in their community. If you volunteer a minimum amount of time with a non-profit or charitable organization, participating employers will complement your volunteer with a grant to a non-profit organization of your choice. For example, if you are serve on the board for your local 501(c)(3) chapter, then your employer will grant up to $500 (per calendar year) to your local chapter. Alternatively, if you volunteer for another community organization (e.g. school or local park), you may still be eligible to grant funds to your local NetIP chapter (based upon your employer’s program guidelines). Applications for Dollars for Doers grants will be honored if the request adheres to your employer program’s guidelines.

How can you get involved?
To enroll in the Dollars for Doers program, please contact your employer to determine if they participate in the Dollars for Doers program. Participating companies include (but not limited to):

  • IBM
  • CitiGroup
  • AAA
  • Microsoft
  • Morgan Stanley
  • Bank of America
  • Fannie Mae
  • KPMG
  • Pfizer
  • Cisco Systems
  • World Bank

If your company participates in this program, then you will need to complete an employer-provided application for a volunteer grant and indicate which organization you would like to grant the funds to. Based upon your company’s terms and conditions, you may not be able to allocate funds to an organization that is not a 501(c)(3) non-profit. If you are uncertain of whether your local chapter is a 501(c)(3) organization, please contact your local chapter board or financeadmin@netip.org.

If you would like more information or have any questions, please contact Rita Bagai, Communications Chair (rita@netip.org).

NetIP responds to Joel Stein

For Immediate Release

Network of Indian Professionals of North America (NetIP-NA) Invites Joel Stein and TIME Magazine Editors as Guests on the Radio

The Time to act in responsible and informed dialog is NOW.

July 8th, 2010, New York, NY: On July 2, 2010, TIME Magazine featured an editorial commentary written by Joel Stein entitled, “My Own Private India”. Mr. Stein’s views about the Indian American community and immigrants from India were perceived negatively and as derogatory. The Network of Indian Professionals of North America (NetIP-NA) finds Mr. Stein’s commentary unacceptable and is deeply disappointed that TIME.com, an internationally-reputed news outlet, would choose to publish this article.

In response to the article, NetIP-NA has received requests to have Mr. Stein explain his remarks to their audience of progressive South Asian professionals. In light of his appended statement explaining his views, NetIP accepts Mr. Stein’s solution and welcomes him to debate people on the other side of the immigration issue”. The Network of Indian Professionals of North America (NetIP-NA) cordially invites TIME magazine editors and columnist Joel Stein to its radio show, Prime Time with NetIP, which has a reach of over 200,000 South Asian listeners. Prime Time with NetIP broadcasts on HD radio with NetIP-NA’s media partner, HumDesi Radio. Podcasts of previous shows can be heard on http://www.netip.org/primetime

Celebrating 20 years of history this year, NetIP-NA was founded on a platform of social responsibility and respect for all individuals regardless of one’s gender, race, ethnicity, background and religious or political beliefs. Mr. Stein’s article goes to the heart of what NetIP-NA believes are its responsibility, its vision and mission being to embrace the diversity within our heritage, culture and community while empowering members of the South Asian community to challenge any form of discrimination or prejudice.

Far from invoking thought by using humor, Mr. Stein’s article used several stereotypical and inaccurate descriptions that have been perceived widely as racial slurs. When Mr. Stein chose to encourage the creation of a better insult than “a group of people whose gods have multiple arms and elephant nose,” the article failed to be witty and reflective as Mr. Stein may have intended. The overwhelming response to Mr. Stein’s article shows it to be demeaning, hurtful and sacrilegious. The public statement issued by TIME was insufficient at best and Mr. Stein’s apology on Twitter “Didn’t meant (sic) to insult Indians with my column this week. Also stupidly assumed their emails would follow that Gandhi non-violence thing” has not been well received as it further exacerbates the use of stereotypical remarks. NetIP-NA hopes to engage both TIME magazine editors and Mr. Stein in a dialog with young professionals, both first and second generation South Asians, in an effort to alleviate the anger and hurt that the article has caused. “Mr. Stein’s egregious article is disrespectful to Indian Americans and other South Asians and disregards the tragedy of hate crimes that underscored life in Edison in the 1980s. We hope Mr. Stein and TIME magazine’s editors accept our invitation to engage in dialog with us. NetIP-NA is committed to supporting the community we call home and our members deserve an explanation.” -Sundip Arora, President, NetIP North America.

The stage is ripe for a responsible and informed dialog. “It is vital that NetIP educates the community about the invaluable contributions and presence of South Asian Americans. As the third largest immigrant group in America, South Asians cannot be siloed into a specific stereotype or bias and we hope to present concrete facts corroborating this to Mr. Stein. It is a key part of our mission to support South Asians, contribute to the educational awareness of the larger community, and above all, increase appreciation for the value that South Asian Americans bring to society” Rita Bagai, Internal Affairs chair, NetIP North America

NetIP-NA members have described the article as being inaccurate and a misrepresentation of South Asian Americans, especially as it pertains to the economic status and educational successes of the community. The radio show will provide Mr. Stein an opportunity to set the record straight and to further educate the greater community about South Asian Americans and their versatile contributions to society. Several petitions have gained traction since the publishing of Mr. Stein’s article. NetIP supports the SAALT petition which can be accessed here http://bit.ly/bDW7JW.

About The Network of Indian Professionals

The Network of Indian Professionals of North America (NetIP-NA) is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to the overall achievement and advancement of South Asian professionals. A premier networking organization for South Asians promoting professional development, cultural awareness, community service and political awareness, NetIP-NA has the largest reach of young South Asian Professionals in North America.

Today, the organization has a reach of over 350,000 people between its radio show, subscribers, members, partners and affiliates in 24 cities across the United States and Canada. NetIP-NA is the unequivocal voice for an emerging group of South Asians, who excel in every aspect of western society, from business, to politics, to the arts. The rise of NetIP-NA and its affiliated chapters reflects a general “Coming of Age” by South Asian professionals. For more information visit www.netip.org.

# # #

For more information, contact Pooja Dhawan, Brand Strategy, NetIP North America at pooja@netip.org.

NetSAP Boston connects members to local employers

Written by Teju Patel, NetSAP Boston Cultural Chair and Anisha Patel, NetSAP Boston Secretary & National Liason

What is the definition of a successful match? Taken out of a traditional context, a match is defined simply as: a corresponding, suitably associated, or harmonious pair. On May 19th, NetSAP Boston created an exciting forum to connect 10 local companies with area members to form “matches”. The evening started out with a buzz. Having never organized a career fair before, all of the board members were excited and nervous for the biggest event of the year.

Companies from various sectors including Finance, Health Care, Software, Manufacturing, and Recruiting represented an array of opportunities for job seekers. A quick look around the ballroom showed each company uniquely marketing their names and brands by using banners, pamphlets, and small marketing gifts. A large table with appetizers and light refreshments standing in the middle of the room offered a central area for participants to mingle with others.

As all of the attendees trickled in, the night started with name tags written out, continued with appetizers being consumed and ended with resumes exchanged over many handshakes. Participants mingled with NetSAP board members, NetSAP members, and local HR professionals. Even though the mingling was considered “hard work” by some, NetSAP Boston provided a forum for job seekers to make connections with each other.

The career fair portion of the evening was followed by an intimate sit down session where the attendees were given the opportunity to discuss their career aspirations, where many realized the importance of making connections not only with the companies represented but with their fellow job seekers.

NetSAP Boston provided a service for their members, connecting local companies with a great pool of talent for a very nominal fee. Most companies have big budgets for recruitment for the right talent and the very small forum proved to be a thrifty and worthwhile investment. Of the success stories, one company in particular stands out having extended job offers to 4 attendees.
In the end it was the hard work of the NetSAP Boston volunteers that brought all of these people together to form long lasting “matches”.

The time is NOW to renew your NetIP membership

We hope you are keeping cool during the summer with NetIP’s local chapter summer mixers and conference kick off events. The time to renew your NetIP membership is now. With our much anticipated Annual conference now less than 8 weeks away, avail of the vast opportunities NetIP has for you.

NetIP bases all its programming and events on four core pillars of its foundation. With these pillars, NetIP is the only organization in North America that meets the needs of South Asians with a 360 degree focus.

Professional Development . Cultural Awareness . Community Service . Political Awareness

5,000 +: NetIP members give you unprecedented networking opportunities

27–28 is the average age demographic of NetIP members, the movers and shakers of tomorrow are found here today

35%  of NetIP members work for fortune 500 or fortune 1000 companies.
Your next career opportunity can be found here

24 Chapter cities:
Atlanta, Austin, Boston, Charlotte, Chicago, Cincinnati, Columbus, Dallas, Detroit,
Houston, Los Angeles, Miami, Minneapolis – St. Paul, New York, Ottawa, Philadelphia, Phoenix, Pittsburgh, San Diego, San Francisco, Seattle, St. Louis, Toronto, Washington DC

Click here for our Membership Brochure

It is the passion, energy and drive of NetIP members that encompasses the spirit of NetIP! NetIP significantly impacts the lives of many South Asians and provides a lifetime of memories that they will forever remember and cherish. Our members come to NetIP for one important reason: the Human Connection. People join NetIP to forge lasting relationships with others and their community. While, the human connection is the single most fundamental drive we all have, NetIP delivers much more for the overall development needs of South Asian Professionals.

NetIP’s most anticipated event of the year is the Annual Conference. Open to members only, the Annual Conference brings NetIP members from all our chapters together to network. The sell-out conference provides an opportunity to hear from successful South Asians and learn from their experiences. Click here to Renew your membership today and join us in the Emerald City for NetIP’s 19th Annual Conference. The NetIP Conference is built upon a rich history of successful conferences bringing together South Asian professionals and empowering them to explore their heritage yet move beyond their traditional boundaries.

Create memories and forge friendships that can last a lifetime, and personally experience the Spirit of NetIP.

www.netipconference.org

Registration now open for NetIP’s Annual Conference!

Celebrate the Network of Indian Professionals’ 20th anniversary against a backdrop of the Olympic Mountains and Puget Sound during the annual NetIP conference in downtown Seattle. Join us for a weekend of networking and socializing with other South Asian professionals at the Grand Hyatt in downtown Seattle August 20 to 22.

Registration opens at noon PST today for the 2010 NetIP conference “Unique By Nature.” Early-bird registration is $279 and ends July 4th. Ticket prices will go up after that so make sure to register early by visiting www.netipconference.org.

This is the first time in more than 10 years that the conference has been held on the West Coast – and we’re excited to have you be a part of it!

The 2010 conference agenda promises top-notch keynote speakers, panel discussions, interactive skill-building workshops, social events, and time to network during evening mixers.

And in true Seattle style, the conference will go ‘green,’ using social media to distribute information before, during and after the conference. That Seattle is one of the country’s most influential tech hubs will make the annual NetIP conference a great place to use some of the most cutting-edge technologies.

Worried about the weather? Don’t be. Although Seattle is known for being a rainy city, summers in the Emerald City are known for mild temperatures, clean air and a host of outdoor activities. Visit the famous Pike Place Market, or sip a cup of fresh roasted coffee at the first Starbucks store. Are you into outdoor activities? Take advantage of the many water-related activities Seattle has to offer such as kayaking and rafting.

Remember Our Conference Sold Out Last Year at 1000 attendees! This year our conference will be exclusive & limited to the first 500 Registrants! We will sell out!

For more information about this year’s conference visit the 2010 NetIP Conference Facebook page.

We look forward to hosting you in Seattle in less than two months!

Three “C’s” to This Chef’s Success

This is a sponsored message.

A typical week in the life of Palak Patel involves jetting across the globe to pitch breakthrough neuromarketing technologies to some of the world’s largest and most notable companies. Come the weekend, however, she slips out of her Manolos into her chef’s coat and welcomes the familiar, comforting atmosphere of the kitchen.

For the past few months, Palak, a member of NetIP’s San Francisco chapter, has been travelling to Los Angeles to battle it out against 24 chefs as the only Indian contestant in the Sears’ Chef’s Challenge Competition. The prize?  Twenty thousand dollars for a local food bank, a complete kitchen renovation (reserved for her mother), and let’s not forget notoriety.

This dual track life is nothing new to Palak, an Indian-born, Atlanta-raised and self-taught personal chef.  Blending her culinary passion into her larger life was always her dream, so in 2006, she launched her own Personal Chef company — and now, she’s solidly in the running to win the top slot in Sears’ professional cooking competition.

Palak’s culinary specialty is paring Indian spices with a modern twist. Take her recipe for Fiery Seared Scallops –the one that got her the spot on the competition—where Indian staples such as cayenne pepper, cumin, and coriander create a delicious dish with aromatic flavors that burst at the first bite.   This is just one of many unique recipes Palak wants to share with you—each one with a secret side that promises to surprise and delight NetIP voters who support Palak in the contest.

Vote for Chef Palak at www.searschefchallenge.com starting June. 26th – July 10th (you can vote multiple times from different email addresses, once every 24 hrs per address) Send her to the semi-finals in Chicago,  and then sign up for her private Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/chefpalak to get the scallops recipe as well as updates as she advances in the competition.

Vote for one chef from each region: Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, DC

  • Los Angeles – Chef Palak Patel
  • New York – Chef Matthew West
  • Chicago – Chef Christine Campbell
  • Washington, DC – Chef Stephanie Krzywanski

Join NetIP’s 19th Annual Conference in the Emerald City

The most anticipated event for the year for NetIP is fast approaching and your wait is almost over! Be ready for a conference like you’ve never seen before, returning to the West Coast after a 10 year hiatus. We are thrilled to see the excitement and buzz that’s generated for the 2010 NetIP Annual Conference in Seattle on the 20th anniversary of NetIP. The 2010 Conference will be one of the most exclusive conferences in the history of NetIP with tickets limited to the first 500 NetIP members only. We have received hundreds of queries related to the conference so here’s a glimpse of what to expect to help you in planning your travels.

Are you signed up to receive conference news? Edit your subscription or sign up here: http://bit.ly/bisAiv

Arrange me some love, please!

By Shyam Pillai

Image Courtesy Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni

Picture this. A shy girl walking towards a gathering of curious eyes holding a tray filled with chai  and samosas or filter coffee and upma as the region may be. Her eyes filled with hope, her lips  quivering, her body language visibly apprehensive, but she still has a smile plastered on her face  to complete the pretty picture. Does this take you back in time, say twenty to fifty years or maybe  you went through the process recently here in America. The arranged marriage ritual has not  changed conceptually, but the people going through it, have. Back then, the questions covered  topics like whether the girl could walk, sing, cook, knit, or have children. Of course, she couldn’t  ask any questions of the man. Now questions range anywhere from paychecks and green card  status to food allergies, addictions and HIV status. There are two conflicting questions on the  table along with the samosas. Has arranged marriage lost its effectiveness and become a sham? Is  it a meal ticket for some? a way to get away from an ex-lover or an end of the road retreat for former “players”?  Or when it comes to relationships, did our parents have it right all along– arranged marriage followed by arranged love?

Image Courtesy Silkthreads.com

Of course the process of match making is a bustling business in India and on the Internet. Gone are  the days when a friendly chaachi or a pandit would go visiting with a bag full of pictures and  kundalis of prospective brides and bridegrooms. The Internet era has ushered millions of hopeful  single men and women and their parents into elaborate e-rooms where no chai or samosas are  needed and no one needs to dress up. All that is needed are some self selling points about ones  education, job status and a picture (where hopefully, the man is not wearing shades). It’s very  human to want the very best especially when it comes to a life partner. Every man wants a Katrina  Kaif or an Aishwarya Rai like beauty to be his wife even if he happens to look like something that  got caught in a drain. If he’s a looker then even the best isn’t enough. Of course she has to be a size  zero superwoman – homely and educated; a breadwinner and a good mother. It’s almost like a  fitting room where women walk in and get fitted into a mould and all their excesses are sheared off. It’s amazing to see so many former party girls trade in halter tops for aprons with baby spit-ups. The fairer sex is not free of oddities. They can be as demanding as or more than the men have always been. They want someone who is ambitious but not a workaholic. Someone who keeps them on their toes and loves to have a good time but also is responsible and has a sense of duty – So basically, Superman with better fashion sense. Some women are extremely picky about grammar, dressing sense, body odor, shoes, and facial and body hair among many other things.

Once single men and women get past the reservations and decide to take the arranged marriage route, the hard work begins. They have to sort through hundreds of girls and or guys, meetings, polite conversations, and fake smiles. It’s like a lottery the one who wins has a low ratio of fantasy to reality. The ones with minimal expectations come out happy. For those who approach it with a “for better or till something better comes along” attitude, this can be a never ending process.  It definitely worked for our parents, or so they say. Some may reason that they didn’t know any better, others may say they didn’t have an option or a way out even if the road got rocky, so they stayed. But I think it is a matter of mindsets. Our parents had a sense of duty and obedience towards the people (family) who brought them together. They learned to love their spouses with all their plusses and minuses. For them marriage was not a trial and error process.

These days, at least here in the United States and in the larger cities in India, most educated men and women don’t want an arranged marriage. They want a marriage of choice, their own choice not their parents.  They want to fall in love and intimately know the person they are about to spend the rest of their lives with. They don’t want any virgin territories, literally and figuratively; no major physical incompatibilities, no annoying character traits and no past skeletons in closets. They want to get to know a potential suitor without the sword of marriage looming large on their head. The question is, has the South Asian society accepted this change? I see the acceptance here in the United States; most of my friends are married to women or men of their choice regardless of race, caste or religion and they have spent considerable amounts of time in relationships before settling down.  What about back home though? Is it acceptable now in India for a woman to date someone for a while, implying physical intimacy and for her to decide at her own pace if she wants to be married to him or not?  I know in the past that would stamp her as undesirable among “respectable” suitors. Truth is, the numbers of unmarried women in Indian cities is very high right now, but it’s not because they are dating men, it’s because they are financially independent (something past generations of women didn’t have easily) and they don’t really see why they should leave those careers to serve men.

Whether a “love before marriage” scenario is longer lasting than a “love after marriage” scenario is debatable? There have been enough “success stories” (still married) in each category to say one is better than the other. It would be nice though if the age-old tradition of arranged marriage was revamped to be more honest, with no family agenda (emotional blackmailing) and less sand glassed. It should be less about the alignment of stars and planets and more about the alignment of two individuals who come together for no other reason than to be each others’ other halves.  It would also be nice if the new tradition of finding love before marriage was not treated as an option, an option that can be easily dissolved if something goes wrong.

The opinions expressed in this article are solely that of the author and not of NetIP National or NetIP Houston. Shyam Pillai is a longstanding member and supporter of NetIP Houston. He can be reached at info@netiphouston.org.  For upcoming NetIP Houston events, please go tohttp://www.netiphouston.org